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2002-09-10 - 12:39 a.m.

it's quiet here in the morning. pretty before everyone gets up to ruin the stillness. and speak too obviously. smell much too commonly. jog loudly. it's not so bad really.

i still wake up here- not quite sure where i am. if i am home or if this is home or if home just stopped existing for me. i have trouble with adjustment-we all know that.

i walk to class. i get that high school feeling. i want to slip into a crack. be the invisible ant you step on and don't bother to wipe off your shoe. i bought the new sonic youth album. because i knew i had to listen to it over and over again too. i knew that something had to be my new comfort blanket to replace some of the old worn out ones. this sounds much more bleak than i had hoped or wanted. i don't mean it like it sounds. i'm just in quiet mode. i'm in celibate pain killer mode. nothing too wrong with that. shh. shh. whisper. nothing wrong at all. good night lambs, lambettes, and yuppsters too. i love you all the same and hate you all the same.

baah