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2003-01-12 - 7:49 p.m.

man beastN

i am listening to beck..."asshole". cough...COUGH. i am waiting for chris to get home from work. i am very bored. i wanted to kill him friday night. he told me to leave because i was making him feel "uncomfortable". i was very unhappy L. i was angry. i went back to oxford and everyone was asleep.

we were cuddling and i mentioned something about him needing to get a girlfriend. i guess that was the wrong thing to say. and then last night...well it's not really my concern. he can do what he wants. if he wants to be the fucking acid queen, i can't stop him. he'll probably get pissed that i wrote that here, but i would like to stop censoring my diary just because some people choose to read it. this is here so i can express how i feel and i'm not going to step on eggshells to avoid offending anyone. and i know i've said it before, but i worry so much about people, especially chris. he can tell me to stop worrying. i'm not going to. grrrrrr.

i apologize for this entry being overly emotional and uninteresting. but maybe it will save me discussing this with anyone i might have a tendency to vent to. and i know you appreciate that.

oh yeah. i think the next theme drink night we have should definately be absolut currant and fruit punch. i dig it. i really did not believe that boy last night when he told me the fruit punch had alcohol in it.

baah