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2003-07-12 - 6:29 p.m.

SNOFF

tonight is my high school youth group reunion. i don't know if i feel like going. i can never tell about social outtings anymore. i don't know if i can handle a gaggle of kids from my past inquiring about..."what i'm up to" or really a gaggle of anybody at all. more and more wherever i go...i can't shake the feeling that i want to hit and kick people. and more and more i actually do just fuckin hit people for no real reason. my actions lately just don't match my thoughts. definitely that thing where you see yourself doing things on some inner self 22 inch monitor but there's nothing you can do to stop it. the script has already been written. i'm gonna go get my china village on with kacey right now. i'll finish this later.

* * *

yeah i wasn't done, i'm feeling chatty, but i'll try to be short... i wanted to mention how almost unbelievably nice it was outside yesterday. went to the park. got my feet all nice and dirty in the sand. enjoyed my ice cream more than is probably normal.

foo fighters was fun.

i have a sudden and inexplicable obsession with my sister's old jazz shoes.

on the radio today, i really was digging on this aqualung song called strange and beautiful. i am a sucker for those catchy piano ditties.

and i think i will write tonight.

and one more thing. thank you to my lea for calling me out. i needed it.

baah