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2002-11-20 - 8:16 p.m.

kids are doin it in basements back home

don't be so unreal baby. i need something tangible to hold hold onto. i want to go do something so real it hurts and punishes and shames and i want people to be really mad and really happy and so upset and i want no bullshit-i want you to stop acting. i want to quit this play. and i want to stop hearing the music in your head from twenty feet away. the soundtrack to your life that's on too loud. i want pure noise. i want pure quiet. and i wish someone would just say "i understand". isn't that what we have these things for. or why we ever bother to speak at all. we hope someone is listening.

baah