i have to sit down. stop and look around. today was normal and there were no terrible crises. so by new definition, it was a good day. my body is getting the greater part of this guilt. like always though. some things never change, they just shift a little. really i want to talk about something completely unrelated.

mr. cocker spaniel is giving me the evil eye. oh you disapprove? why didn�t you say so? i would have done anything you said. he barks in reply. he is the most supreme cocker spaniel you�ll ever know, really. yeah i would like to see you happy and then broken-hearted. i�m sorry drummer boy. i really am but it was just too tempting. that used to be me rolled over on my back letting you pet my tummy, but not anymore. as soon as you blinked and were oh-so vulnerable. i never knew why Lindsay used to torture the fleas after she picked them off her dog. used to put them in soapy water and poke at their little flea orifices. she must have at least liked them a bit to do it. can�t enjoy torturing something unless you like it a bit. fuck your snare! i�ve got my very own clever homonym. just wait.